Back to Love
by Donatello8696
Summary: One mistake threatens to shatter Fuji and Eiji's relationship. With the help of their friends, and their own feelings toward each other, will they be able to crawl back to love? FujiXEiji
1. Chapter 1

**Well, this is my first PoT fic! It's my latest obssesion. I don't know what happened because I was CRAZY about Outsiders and now all of a sudden Prince of Tennis was introduced to me by one of my friends and I was totally HOOKED. But worry not, Outsiders fans! I still haven't forgotten about my Outsiders fics. It's just been so busy at the end of the year, with dances and awards nights and I just graduated two days ago (O.O), so I haven't had much time to work on them. But now that it's summer, I'll try to stay on task, 'kay? Love you lots!**

* * *

_Everybody sees it's you / I'm the one that's lost the view_

* * *

"... and the guest room is over there. You can use it if you want to."

Eiji nodded silently, looking down at his chest where his arms were wrapped around it tightly, his jacket draped over them. "Thanks for everything, Oishi. I appreciate it." The younger tennis player's voice was quiet and hoarse. Oishi gave his friend a sympathetic look before placing a hand on the redhead's shoulder.

"Hey," Oishi said softly. "Everything will be okay, Eiji. You can stay here for as long as you need. My family doesn't mind your company."

Eiji nodded once again, looking up and blinking back tears. "Yeah. I know, nya," Eiji whispered thickly, his voice sounding more like a whimper. Without hesitation, Oishi wrapped his arms around the shaking shoulders of his doubles partner and pulled him close. He was slightly surprised at how fiercely Eiji hugged him back, the jacket lying abandoned on the ground.

"You're okay, Eiji. You're okay. I gotcha," Oishi murmured reassuringly, hoping the broken boy in his arms heard him past his gasping and sobbing. They remained like that for a short while before Eiji froze, completely still of all movement, at a frantic knock at the door. Eiji moved away from Oishi and stared at him fearfully.

"That's him, I know it is," Eiji said, looking almost terrified. He reached out and made a desperate grab at Oishi's arm, who had turned to answer the door. "Don't let him in, Oishi. Please." The sight of a panic-striken Eiji, tears tracking down his face and pleading, was heart-wreching to Oishi. Most was that he knew he was going to listen to his friend and not let that person in; it would not help the redhead in the slightest. Oishi nodded, gently prying Eiji's hand off his arm. The knocking grew persistant, more urgent.

"Alright. I won't. I'll take care of it," Oishi said. Eiji spared the door a frightened glance and turned back to Oishi. He swallowed hard and nodded reluctantly, looking down.

"Okay." Oishi headed into the hallway and toward the door. The knocking grew louder and this time Oishi could hear muffled shouts coming from the outside. As quickly as he could, he opened the door before it could get kicked in. He glared at the person standing there.

"Oishi."

Oishi folded his arms over his chest. "What do you want, Fuji?"

"Where is he? Where is Eiji? I need to speak to him!" Fuji said urgently. Oishi stayed put, not moving an inch to let the tensai in. "I know he's here! Please, Oishi! I need to explain to him - "

Oishi scoffed. "Explain? What is there to explain? Eiji pretty much figured it all out when he saw you and Tezuka in bed together!" Oishi said the last statement as a fierce whisper, unheard to the acrobat inside.

Fuji winced. "That was a mistake," Fuji said desperately. "Please, Oishi! I have to speak to him!"

"No."

One simple word triggered something inside Fuji and before he knew it, he had already shoved aside his fellow teammate and entered the house, wandering the hallways all while looking for Eiji. Oishi cursed under his breath and closed the door shut before quickly following Fuji.

"Fuji, stop!" Oishi said, trying in vain to stop the determined tensai from going any further into the house. "You already have him hurt bad, and this isn't going to do anything to help him!" Oishi finally managed to maneuver around Fuji and block his way. Fuji almost growled in frustration.

"Oishi. Please step aside."

The usually calm tennis player shook his head, looking furious. "Fuji, doing this now isn't going to solve anything. Forcing Eiji to even look at you after what happened is going to hurt him worse!"

Fuji didn't want to hear it and once again shoved past the younger tennis player, as Oishi had feared. Eiji was in the room only a few feet away from them, and Fuji was heading there now.

"Fuji, wait - " Oishi knew his words to stop the older boy were in vain and he moved forward as Fuji entered the room. Fuji paused after he stepped a few feet into the room. Oishi moved around him and at once realized what happened; the room was empty. There was no sign of the upset redhead that had been there only moments before.

"Eiji!" Oishi called back out into the hallway. Maybe Eiji had left the room while him and Fuji were arguing.

No answer.

As Oishi turned back into the room, he spotted the tensai picking up something from the floor.

Eiji's jacket.

"Oishi." Fuji voice sounded anxious, scared. Oishi followed his gaze and understood.

The window was open.

* * *

_Everyone says we're through / I hope you haven't said it too_

* * *

**As most of you probably got by now, this is a yaoi fic about Fuji and Eiji. This story was inspired by the song **_**Crawl**_** by Chris Brown and an episode of Supernatural (another show I'm hooked on). Basically follow the lyrics of the song and you can understand what happens later on in the story. But watch the episode I'm talking about (Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things) and you might think Eiji is going to die. But that not going to happen at all! I love Eiji too much to kill him off in the first fic I'm writing about him! **

**First time ever writing about this type of anime, so if you have anything that could help me out, please be nice about it! Constuctive critism allowed, but no flames! **

**Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter two! A million thanks for the readers out there who took the time to read and review this story! **

**Well, before I go onto a boring rant about something, on with the story! Review please!**

* * *

_So where do we go from here / With all this fear in our eyes_

* * *

With a quiet thud, Eiji landed on the soft grass below the window. Thankfully, it was on the first floor, so it wasn't much of a jump to begin with. But it still brought a sharp pain through Eiji's legs as his feet met the ground. Nonetheless, that didn't stop him from running as soon as he landed. He ran hard, keeping his legs pumping as he sprinted down the street. Eiji ignored the eventual pain in his side, the calls of Oishi coming from his house... ignored the certain brunette that continued to flood his mind as he ran. He also ignored the slight blur that came into his vision and the wind that seemed cooler on his cheeks then anywhere on his face.

Everything in Eiji was protesting, aching in pain, but the redhead continued to run, not fully satisfied with the distance he put between Fuji and himself.

It was only when his legs finally gave out from under him that Eiji finally gave up, falling to the ground almost unwillingly. Eiji remained there, barely holding himself up with his trembling arms, on his knees. He gasped for air, breathing heavily, wheezing. It was then that he broke, the gasps for air merging with the painful sobs. They racked inside his body, hurting Eiji so much that he collapsed on the ground underneath him. The pain was almost unbearable. The gut-wreching feeling that Fuji didn't love him as much as he had thought, along with the exhaustion of running so hard, was too much for Eiji to take. But all he could do was lay there, a sobbing wreck, and unable to move.

Everything hurt too much.

* * *

It seemed like an eternity had passed while Eiji lay there, panting still. The tears hadn't stopped yet, but he wasn't crying as heavily as he was before. Eiji tried to move his arms and legs, and when they showed a reaction, he tried to stand. His arms were a bad support; they, along with his legs, were shaking too much for him to actually get good balance in his stance. But he managed to get up slowly after stumbling forward a few times. Carefully, he slowly began to walk, wrapping his arms tightly around himself, shivering. _I can't believe I forgot my jacket over at Shuichiro's_, Eiji thought miserably. He wasn't about to go get it though.

After his muscles stopped throbbing and his heart was beating at a normal pace, Eiji sighed, dejected.

Where would he go? Oishi's house was obviously out of the question now, as was Tezuka's. For obvious reasons.

Eiji gritted his teeth together and shut his eyes tightly.

His family practically disowned him after he confided in his mother that he was gay. He had thought that they would understand and support him. He thought that they would accept him.

But he was wrong. His mother was in tears, his father enraged, his siblings shocked. He was told by his own father to pack his bags, that "no son of his was a homo and if he didn't like it, he could get out."

So he got out. He packed his clothes and personal items into a duffel bag while his mother and occasionally his sisters watched him, tears running down his mother's face. After everything he needed was inside his bag, he made to leave, brushing past his mother and sisters. He found his oldest brother Kenji standing by the front door, watching solemnly. When Eiji grabbed the doorknob, he saw Kenji make a move as though he wanted to say something. Eiji paused and looked at his brother, giving him the chance to say whatever he needed to say.

No words left the eldest Kikumaru sibling. Knowing that Kenji wasn't going to speak, Eiji opened the door and walked out into the cold night, leaving his brother staring after him helplessly.

That had happened today. Eiji had left today, and the first place he thought to go to was Fuji's house. So he headed there straightaway, getting to Fuji's home as fast as he could. There were no lights on, and Eiji had a vague feeling that no one was home. But he didn't think twice about that and entered the seemingly empty house, barely registering the fact that the door was not locked or even closed properly. Once inside, he silently dropped the duffel bag beside the door, suddenly feeling anxious. He brushed it off as an effect of everything that had happened today and quietly headed upstairs, to where he knew Fuji's room was.

And what he saw there changed everything, and Eiji began to sob silently at the memory, eyes now open.

He had opened the door to see Fuji already in bed, but not alone. Beside him was Tezuka, topless and already sleeping. Eiji could only stand there, stunned. Unable to think or speak. He couldn't make a sound. But Fuji must've heard him somehow, because he had lifted his head quickly, eyes widening when he saw who it was. He had still been awake.

"Eiji," Fuji had whispered, quickly getting up. He was clad in his boxers and nothing else. Tezuka stirred in bed but showed no signs of awakening. Fuji had turned to Tezuka in alarm, then back to Eiji. But Eiji had gone by then, already making his way out of the door. Eiji could hear Fuji frantically calling out his name but didn't respond or go back. He barely even knew he was moving at all, running out the door and down the street.

That's when he ended up at Oishi's house. He had been home alone, as his sister had gone to a friend's house to spend the night and his parents were also away for the night. That's when he told him everything.

Eiji let out a shaky sigh. There was no where for him to go. He knew he wouldn't be accepted by his other teammates, who didn't know of Fuji and his relationship. The only one that had known was Oishi. He couldn't bring himself to try and ask his friends for a place to stay and risk telling them the reason why since he had believed his family would understand about his sudden like in guys.

_Yeah, look where that got me,_ Eiji thought. A fresh wave of despair crashed down on him and he struggled to keep his emotions in check, trying to swallow past the huge lump in his throat that was making it almost impossible to breathe. After wandering around for five minutes, Eiji found himself to the park that had the container he and Oishi used for discussing their problems and such. Eiji stared at it for a moment, and finally decided that the container was probably his best option now.

Eiji walked toward it, reaching it quickly. Feeling that he had enough physical strength for this, he jumped up, grabbing the top of the container and quickly pulling himself up before he could strain his arms. Even though it was a small action, it left Eiji panting in exhaustion. He was physically and emotionally at his limit.

All Eiji could do now was to curl himself into a tight ball, try to keep warm in any way possible, and fall into an uneasy sleep on top of the hard, cold metal.

* * *

_And where can love take us now / We've been so far down  
We can still touch the sky_

* * *

**This is Eiji's POV of the whole ordeal. I put some of the background of what had happened before in the first chapter so people wouldn't get confused. And just so everyone knows, I am going to put in some made-up names for each of the Kikumaru siblings, since they are part of this story. I already put the oldest one (in my opinion, it's a boy), Kenji. This is how it's going to go...**

_**Kenji**_** is the oldest. The other brother, **_**Itsuo **_**is twins with the oldest sister, **_**Ikumi**_**. The youngest sister is named **_**Taemi**_**. So in order, it's Kenji, Itsuo and Ikumi (Itsuo is 12 minutes older), Taemi, and finally Eiji! =) Those are the rest of the Kikumaru siblings. I might come up with a name for Oishi's little sister but she might not even appear so there might be less chance of her coming in. **

**So anyway, keep the feedback coming! Reviews boost my motivation (even though it gets hard to update now that I signed up for some summer camps xp)! R&R!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three! Hopefully, I'll be able to update this story more often than I usually do with other stories. I sort of lost some motivation on them. Well, except for the more recent ones. Hopefully, I'll be able to update those too. =)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. **

* * *

_Why did I change the pace / Hearts were never meant to race_

* * *

The next morning found Eiji lying uncomfortably on top of the container. He awoke to a soft breeze hitting his face, slightly warmer than the wind that had been constantly blowing throughout the night. Lazily, he opened his eyes, temporarily confused about where he was and why he was outside. But once he remembered the past night's events, he felt a small prick at the back of his already stinging eyes. He used the sunlight as an excuse for the blur that started to form in his vision and lifted his palm up, calmly wiping the tears away.

It made him furious how emotionally weak he appeared.

With a wavering sigh, he folded his arms behind his head and lay there, on top of the hard, metal container, staring at the soft, white clouds.

It could've been seconds, minutes, hours that Eiji had lay there until he noticed with a horrible jolt that he wasn't alone anymore. He shifted his gaze from the sky to his right, where his visitor was crouched almost right next to him. How he got on the container without attracting Eiji's attention, he never bothered to ask.

Oishi was smiling sadly. "I soft of knew you'd be here," he said, his voice gentle. Eiji stared at him silently for a short moment as Oishi continued. "How are you feeling?"

Eiji looked away from Oishi slowly, facing the sky again. He sniffed, blinking back tears and licking his dry, chapped lips.

"Better 'n I w's last night." Eiji was filled with self amazement and disgust at how horribly his voice sounded; it sounded as though he had literally swallowed a toad, the way it croaked. Oishi showed no reaction to this but a small, barely audible, inward sigh.

"It's okay, Eiji," Oishi said, his voice barely louder than a whisper. "After you... took off, last night, Fuji tried looking for you. I came along, but after a while, I convinced him to go home; it was no use looking since you had a big head start. If you want, you can still stay over at my house."

Eiji glanced over. "Really?"

Oishi nodded. "Of course. You're more than welcome to stay. If you want to," he added the last part to make sure Eiji knew Oishi wasn't forcing him to make decisions that he didn't want to make. The redhead was quiet for a moment. Then he grinned. _Well, barely a twitch of the lips, but close enough,_ Oishi thought.

"Arigatou, Oishi." Oishi felt a pang in his gut as he heard the immense gratitude flowing in those two simple words. He nodded and smiled.

"No problem, Eiji. Come on," he said, offering a hand to his friend. "Let's go home."

Without hesitation, Eiji took the offered hand and hauled himself up. He followed Oishi as he dropped from the container and led him home.

* * *

_Always felt the need for space / And now I can't reach your face _

* * *

**There you have it! I'm sorry it's so short, but I couldn't think of a good place to end it so it stops right here, at least until I can write up the next chapter. It might include Fuji and Eiji's older brother (made up his name) Kenji. Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow, this story seems to be coming along faster than ever! I'm coming up with loads of ideas, but I might not be able to include them all without ruining the plot. =] Sorry!**

**Anyway, here's chapter four. This chapter is going to have Eiji's first encounter with Fuji after the incident with Tezuka. It'll also have Kenji, Eiji's oldest brother. Hope you like!**

* * *

_So where are you standing now / Are you in the crowd of my faults_

* * *

The morning that Oishi had found Eiji lying on top of their container whisked quickly into the afternoon. Eiji's stomach clenched at knowing that the result of being absent from school today was receiving the homework he missed tomorrow, along with that homework as well. And having to meet Tezuka face-to-face for the first time since he caught him and Fuji together to recieve his punishment for missing practice. Oishi reassured him endlessly and without impatience that he would help him out with his homework and even go with Eiji when it was time to see Tezuka. This seemed to calm the overwhelmed redhead down a bit.

The day went by fast, faster than Eiji would have liked, and before he knew it, it was time to head to practice.

It was all Eiji could do to restrain himself from running in the opposite direction.

True to his word, Oishi stayed by Eiji's side as they headed toward Tezuka. Their captain furrowed his eyebrows some at the sight of Oishi, but didn't say anything else to regard the vice-captain.

Eiji took Tezuka's scolding with his head bowed, only looking up when he finally announced his punishment ("50 laps"). Eiji nodded and muttered, "Gomenasai, buchou. It won't happen again."

Tezuka gave a quick nod and said, "Go."

Eiji, relieved to be dismissed, bowed and said, "Hai," before taking off.

He tried to ignore the jolts going up and down his spine that he got whenever he knew Fuji was watching him.

* * *

When morning practice was over and it was time to go to class, Eiji felt trapped. This time, Oishi wouldn't be there to help him, as he was in another class. The entire day, he would be forced to sit next to the one he tried to avoid during practice. Fuji.

The bell rang for first period, and Eiji walked into class. He looked up temporarily and saw that Fuji was already in his seat, staring at him with open eyes. Eiji swallowed the lump in his throat and quickly walked over, sitting himself down in the seat next to Fuji, carefully avoiding his eyes. He could still feel Fuji's sharp gaze boring a hole into his skull.

In an effort to calm himself down he began to fill his mind with thoughts of self advice.

_It's okay. Just breathe, breathe. Now exhale. Don't look at him, don't speak to him, don't even _think_ about him. Just focus. Focus. Pay attention to the lesson. Focus. Breathe._

And it worked. Kind of. Eiji kept this routine up for the rest of the day, paying attention in class more than ever, filling his mind with problems and solutions to keep him occupied, and calming himself down whenever he walked through the hallways towards his next class, feeling Fuji's eyes on his back.

And finally,_ finally_, the final bell sounded, and Eiji knew that he did it. He made it through today. He would of course see Fuji again during tennis practice this afternoon, but he wouldn't be alone this time. Oishi would be there. And if need be, he would use the same routine he used to get through school during practice. Focus on his task only and let it fill his mind, never allowing the tensai in.

To Eiji's content, practice seemed to go by quickly, and then it was over. He headed into the clubhouse as Oishi was heading out.

"I'll wait for you over by the fence," Oishi said. Eiji nodded and walked into the deserted clubhouse. He hadn't wanted to witness Fuji getting dressed and chatting with their other teammates as though nothing had ever happened between them. Eiji didn't know if he could take seeing him so happy when Eiji was feeling the complete opposite about the same thing.

As Eiji slipped on his T-shirt, he heard the door open and close softly. Slowly turning he said," I thought you were going to wait, Oi - " Eiji looked up and froze. He felt his insides turn over and his heart quicken, because standing in the doorway was not his doubles partner.

It was Fuji.

"Eiji," Fuji said softly. Eiji blinked and quickly looked down, trying hard to avoid looking Fuji in the eyes. "Eiji, would you please look at me?" When Eiji silently refused, Fuji sighed. "Listen Eiji. I just came to talk. About... what happened two days ago."

Eiji still refused to look at Fuji, eyes glued to a small crack on the clubhouse floor. He watched as a small ant crept out, staying near the crack until he was sure he was safe before scurrying out. In some way, Eiji knew how that ant felt. Right now, he felt trapped, waiting for the danger to pass until he could finally breathe again. Kind of like the ant.

"What happened between Tezuka and I was a mistake. An accident. I never meant for any of it to happen. It just... did."

"Am I supposed to actually believe that?" Eiji said, looking up, finally. He was surprised at his courage to speak. What shocked him even more was the confidence behind his words. He could only hope that this sudden confidence showed on the outside while it was definitely not showing on the inside. "That it just happened? Things don't just happen, Syuusuke."

"Well, it did," Fuji answered, keeping his voice calm for Eiji's sake. "Please, Eiji. I never meant to hurt you - "

"Well, you did," Eiji said, unable to control the tears the blurred his sight. Fuji hung his head and folded his arms across his chest. "In fact, after what happened between me and my family, the stunt you pulled just about crushed me."

Fuji looked up, eyes open and confused. "What happened with you and your family?"

Eiji felt a little rage licking at his insides, but misery and devastation overpowered it easily. _Of course he doesn't know, _Eiji thought. Angry tears stung his eyes as he glared at Fuji but he didn't dare let them fall. Fuji studied him for a moment, searching for the truth. He probably found it, for he looked into Eiji's eyes, realization dawning on his face.

"Did - did you tell them? About... us?"

"Hai. I told them."

"What did they say?"

Eiji didn't answer, but instead looked down again, hiding his face as a betraying tear escaped from his eye. He heard Fuji sigh. He figured it out.

"Eiji, I'm so sorry."

Eiji just shook his head, finally getting a hold on himself. "It doesn't... doesn't even matter," he muttered, still shaking his head as he gathered his things quickly. He piled everything into his bag harshly, closing the strap.

He didn't realize how close Fuji was until he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see him standing right in front of him. Eiji felt his heart beating furiously and his face and neck getting warm. How could he still feel like this whenever Fuji touched him after what happened?

"Eiji... I'm sorry. I really am." Fuji's voice was full of regret and sincereness. So sincere that Eiji almost believed him.

"Don't apologize. You would have done it anyway."

Fuji didn't have a response to that. Sensing his cue to leave, Eiji pulled his arm away from Fuji's grasp and ducked around him, walking out of the dark clubhouse quickly.

If he hadn't left so fast he would caught Fuji reaching his hand up to his face and sliding it over his eyes.

XXX

Oishi watched, brows knitted together in a worried line as he watched Eiji walk toward him. The redhead's arms were wrapped around his torso tightly and he was looking down. Oishi waited until Eiji was a few feet away before he spoke. "Eiji?" Said person glanced up, stopping. Oishi was bewildered to see that Eiji's eyes were faintly red. "Daijobu?"

"Hai."

Oishi knew immediately his friend was lying. Other than his voice breaking on that one word, he spotted Fuji coming out of the clubhouse. Oishi saw him look up and met his eyes. Oishi glared while Fuji stared, and it was only broken when Fuji turned away. Oishi knew by his sagging shoulders and hanging head as he walked away that Fuji was hurting too.

The rest of the week continued on like this. Eiji would avoid Fuji during morning practice, ignore him during class, avoid him again at afternoon practice, and get cornered by Fuji in the clubhouse when everybody had left. These small meetings consisted of Fuji coming in while Eiji was the last one to get ready, barely mutter his name, and Eiji would maneuver around him, the brunette making no move to stop him. But he was getting more and more persistant, and it was getting harder and harder for Eiji to play keep-away any longer.

Eiji sighed as he strolled down the sidewalk casually. He felt the need to get out of Oishi's house today. Oishi asked if Eiji wanted him to come along, but Eiji politely declined the offer; he just wanted to be by himself for a while.

_Maybe I'll go wander around the petshop for a while,_ he thought. But before he could change course, he felt his phone vibrate then play a ringtone. Eiji grabbed it from his pocket and stared. He had put in different ringtones for everyone in his contacts, a small hobby he did with his phone. Eiji hadn't heard this ringtone often. Eiji glanced at the name of the caller and felt a wave of surprise hit him. The phone kept ringing. Deciding it was best to pick up, he finally answered the phone with shaking hands and put it up to his ear.

"Moshi moshi," he said. _God, even my _voice_ sounds nervous._

"_Eiji._"

Eiji swallowed, his throat dry.

"Kenji."

"_Listen,_ _would you meet me at the beach in about five minutes? Where we used to go as kids, that rocky slope? I just... I just wanna talk to you."_

* * *

Eiji stopped when he reached the slope leading up to the part of the beach that was almost completely covered with rocks. He glanced up at a certain boulder and spotted a man sitting there patiently, waiting. His muscular arms were around his knees, which were loosely pulled up to his chest, and he was staring out into the ocean. He looked remarkably a lot like Eiji, except older, and broader. His long red hair was hanging loosely down his neck, his bangs shading his eyes. His face looked mysteriously blank of all emotion, just staring out into the endless water.

When he finally acknowledged his brother's prescence, he turned his head in Eiji's direction and greeted him with a warm smile.

"Eiji," he said, his voice clearly stating the relief he felt that his brother did not try and escape meeting him here. Eiji gave Kenji a small smile back. "I'm glad you came. Why don't you come up here and sit with me?"

The younger Kikumaru sibling hesitated for a second before walking up to where Kenji was and sat himself down on the rock. There was a silence that followed this action, as neither brother knew what to say to each other. Eiji grew slightly uncomfortable. What was it that Kenji wanted to talk about? Was he going to start yelling, like his father, about his choice of sexual orientation? Or, maybe like his other siblings back home, stay silent about the entire thing and try to ignore it? Eiji's stomach clenched.

At long last, Kenji seemed to have found his voice, for he said quietly, "I missed you, you know." Eiji turned to him and saw he was in the same position he was in before he had arrived; keeping his eyes on the horizen and that emotionless mask on. But Eiji swore there was a trace of sadness hidden in his voice.

Then the trance was broken and Kenji gave the smallest smile he could give and said, in a slight joking tone, "The house has been real quiet without you."

Eiji could've smiled, but didn't, and followed his brother's gaze out in the water. Out of the corner of his eye, Eiji saw Kenji turn toward him. It was as though Kenji was scared to meet his little brother's eyes, and only settled on looking at him when Eiji wasn't looking. The thought made Eiji's stomach hurt a little more.

"Eiji, I just want to say I'm sorry."

Eiji turned to him, somewhat surprised. Kenji looked down. "What for?"

"What kaa-san and tou-san did and said to you was unfair, and I didn't do anything to help you."

"Kenji, it's fine - "

"No, it's not fine!" Kenji snapped, and Eiji jumped slightly. These words seemed to give Kenji the courage he needed and he finally looked his brother in the eyes. Eiji found himself staring into two striking blue eyes almost exactly like his that were flaming with anger. An anger that Eiji knew wasn't directed at him, but at Kenji. "It made me sick, hearing tou-san yelling at you just because you don't happen to like girls, and forcing you to leave home! Kaa-san made not even the slightest effort to comfort you or anything. She just stood there, letting tou-san kick you out of the house!"

Eiji shook his head. "Kenji, none of that was your fault. You weren't the one to kick me out."

"No, but I might as well have been," Kenji said, filled with self-disgust. "Like kaa-san, I didn't do anything. Just stood there like a deer in the headlights. Let it all happen. You were alone, weren't you? You told us, thought we would accept you, and they threw it back in your face. And I. Couldn't. Move. If I had told you in some way then that what you confided in us was alright with me, because it is, you wouldn't have left! And that... is why I hated myself so much from the moment you walked out that door, why I still hate myself right now. Because you needed someone then, and I didn't do _shit_ to provide you with that."

To Eiji's shock, the orbs Eiji had been staring at had rapidly filled with tears of fury, some escaping every so often throughout Kenji's speech. Kenji was oblivious to them, but kept his gaze on Eiji. The mask that had been there before was long gone. Now Kenji's face showed a wide variety of emotions. Pain, disgust and hatred (at himself), fear, love, pleading.

Eiji sat there in stunned silence, unable to say anything. Unable to think. He turned away from Kenji and focused on the ocean. All the same, he could still feel Kenji's eyes boring into him, almost with the same intensity that Fuji used whenever he stared at Eiji. The two brothers sat there in silence for what the both of them felt like to be an eternity, one anxious and the other trying to mull it all over in his head.

Finally, Eiji turned to face Kenji, and Kenji felt a slight pang inside him when he realized his brother was crying as well.

"S-So you don't hate me, nii-chan?" Eiji said, half-whimpering. "Like kaa-san and tou-san?"

Kenji's eyes widened.

"No, Eiji. No," he murmured, grabbing his little brother by the shoulders and pulling him close. Eiji sniffed into Kenji's shirt. "Of course not, Eiji. I could never hate you. And neither do kaa-san and tou-san. They're just horribly misunderstood. They can't appreciate you the way you are, that's all. They'll accept you over time. You'll see." Eiji said nothing as he allowed the bottled up pain and devastation he had kept inside of him for the past week to come pouring out, tears of misery and joy drenching a bit of Kenji's shirt. Kenji just held him while his little brother cried, not saying a word, and rocked him gently.

Eiji clutched the back of Kenji's shirt, bunching some of it up in his fists. Kenji leaned down and pressed his lips to Eiji's hair.

"Arigatou, nii-chan," Eiji said, his words of deepest thanks muffled in Kenji's chest. Kenji smiled.

"That's what family is for, Eiji. And you're welcome."

* * *

_Love, can you see my hand / Let me one more chance  
We can still have it all_

* * *

**So that's the fourth chapter! I hope I didn't disappoint anyone with the outcomes of both meetings Eiji had with Fuji and Kenji. That's just how my brain works. Anyway, off to the next chapter! When it gets uploaded. =]**


	5. Chapter 5

Alright, this story was the next in my list to update and here it is! Hopefully, it's not so bad because once again I tried to finish before the deadline and I'm pretty sure I rushed. But anyway, here's chapter 5!

* * *

_Everybody sees it's you_

* * *

The warm breeze blew through Eiji's red hair soothingly and he sighed. They had talked for hours, even though it seemed like only minutes had passed when Kenji finally noticed the time and stood up, announcing he had to go to work in about an hour. Eiji tried not to look disappointed, but Kenji didn't miss the crestfallen look that flashed across his brother's face for about a second before it disppeared. Smiling sadly, he knelt down in front of Eiji again and sighed.

"Hey. If you want I can come again tomorrow, and we can continue to talk then. Actually, I might even bring the twins and Taemi. They've been dying to see you."

Eiji's head snapped up in surprise. "They want to see me?"

Kenji nodded. "Of course they do. They, like myself, feel awful about they way you were treated by our parents. They let me come alone today because they thought you needed some space after what happened. They didn't want to crowd you too early, you know? But they really want to see you. After all, you are the baby of the family," Kenji said, reaching over and ruffling Eiji's hair.

Eiji made a noise of protest, swatting his brother's hand away. "Hey! I'm not that much younger than Taemi, you know! Only by two years, nya!" He shoved his brother playfully, causing a laughing Kenji to fall back. The laughter put mock-irritation on Eiji's face and he growled.

"Nii-chaaaaan," he whined, shoving Kenji's arm. "Don't laugh at me, nya!"

Kenji sat up straight, chuckling a little. "Alright, alright."

Eiji grinned, satisfied.

"So, how about it? Would you like to see them?" Kenji asked. "If you don't want to, I'm sure they'll understand." Eiji bit his lip, thinking for a moment. True, he missed his other siblings a lot. Too much, actually. But had they really accepted him, like Kenji said? They really missed him?

In the end, Eiji nodded. "Hai. I really miss them, nya."

Kenji nodded. "They miss you too, Eiji. And they'll be waiting for when you come home."

Eiji furrowed his eyebrows. "Come home? But - But tou-san said - "

"It doesn't matter what tou-san said," Kenji said sharply. Eiji stared at him. "He's going to have to deal with the way you are whether he likes it or not. You are his son, after all."

Eiji pursed his lips together, still unconvinced.

"By the way, you did find a place to stay, right? Don't tell me you're living out here in the streets." Kenji suddenly grew very serious, eyeing Eiji's bag that he had brought along.

"Yadda. I'm staying at Oishi's house," Eiji replied.

"Oishi? Is he - "

"He's not my boyfriend, if that's what you're asking," Eiji said, allowing a small smile to form on his mouth. Sure, Oishi was great and all, but Eiji didn't like him _that _way. Kenji raised an eyebrow.

"Then who is?"

Eiji looked down, suddenly uncomfortable and upset. He hadn't wanted the conversation to steer this way, but now that it had, he didn't know what to say. Kenji seemed to have realized his mistake and immediately said, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I was only being curious Eiji, gomen. Forget I ever asked."

"It's okay, Kenji," Eiji muttered. "It's just..." He sighed. How to say this? "... He's not my boyfriend anymore, nya." He only realized his words had come out in a whisper after he said them. But apparently, Kenji had heard what he said.

"What do you mean? What happened?"

But Eiji didn't want to tell his brother just yet. He didn't want to tell him anything that would get him angry, or involve Fuji getting hurt. As much as he tried to convince himself that Fuji was out of his life, Eiji couldn't quite seem to get the blue-eyed tensai out of his head, and he certainly didn't want him to get hurt, even if he had hurt Eiji. So he only shook his head as he looked back up and smiled grimly.

"Doesn't matter. It's over," he said in the most reassuring tone in he muster at this point. Kenji, realizing that he shouldn't pry any further, nodded, but still looked unsatisfied.

"Alright, Eiji. I have to go now, okay? I'll be sure to come back tomorrow with the twins and Taemi, okay?" he said, standing up again. Eiji followed suit, stretching his stiff arms out as he stood.

"Hai." With a nod, Kenji made to leave. He had only walked a couple steps when EIji spoke again.

"Hey, nii-chan?"

Kenji turned his head to look over his shoulder. "Yes, Eiji?"

Eiji smiled. "Thanks again."

Kenji grinned back. "No problem, Eiji. I'll see you tomorrow."

Eiji watched as his brother turned back around, walked down the slope into the sandy part of the beach and out of sight as he passed the trees into town. It was then that he finally started off himself, heading back to Oishi's house.

As he reached the bottom of the slope, he heard a familiar chime and raised an eyebrow, taking out his phone. He flipped it open and felt his eyes grow wide as he looked at the screen.

11 new texts and 5 missed calls. All from Oishi.

In his mind, Eiji mentally scolded himself. He should've known that sooner or later Oishi would call or text him to make sure he was alright, just like a worried mother would. Eiji groaned. During his reunion with Kenji, he had been completely oblivious to his phone, never acknowledging it when it chimed with the text receives or the rang to signal a call.

Deciding it was best to call Oishi before he called the police on him (which Eiji hoped he hadn't already), he dialed his friend's number rapidly and waited for Oishi to pick up. Almost immediately there was a click on the other end, as though Oishi had been sitting next to the phone at that moment. Maybe he was.

_"Eiji! Is that you?"_

"Hai, Oishi. It's me - "

_"Thank goodness, Eiji. Do you know how worried I'd been? You were gone all morning and well into the afternoon as well! Didn't you get my calls?" _Oishi's voice was near hysterical. Eiji rolled his eyes. His friend was too worrysome for his own good.

"Hai, I got them. Gomen, Oishi. I know I should've answered, but - "

_"Didn't even know where you were - "_

"Oishi - "

_" - could've at least called me back - "_

"OISHI!"

His doubles partner immediately quieted down and took a deep breath, saying, _"Gomen, Eiji. But I really was scared. It's not like you to have ignored that many calls or texts."_

Eiji sighed, feeling ashamed. "Gomen, gomen, Oishi. I know I should've called back, but it's just that my brother Kenji wanted to meet with me and - "

_"Kenji? You went to see Kenji?"_

"Well, he asked me to come to to the beach to talk. He wanted to apologize for what happened back at my house and explain that he accepted me for who I was," Eiji said. Even as he said it, he felt a rush of gratitude towards his brother.

_"Wow. That's great, Eiji!"_

Eiji giggled. "Arigatou, Oishi. Listen, I'm going to head back now, okay? I'll be there in about ten minutes."

_"Alright, Eiji. I'll see you then."_

"Sayounara, Oishi," Eiji said. He heard Oishi say the same before a click was heard. Eiji flipped his phone shut and placed it in his pocket, beginning the walk back to Oishi's house. But he had not taken four steps before his phone began ringing again.

The ringtone. Eiji froze in his tracks. He knew that ringtone well, having heard it a lot more than his other tones. Feeling his heart skip a beat, Eiji took his phone out again. The music progressed to become louder than before, and as Eiji stared at the caller ID, his mind was doing some rapid thinking.

_Should I answer? What would I say to him What would he say to me? What would I do if he tries to apologize again? He's getting harder and harder to avoid. Maybe I should answer... I'm going to have to face him sooner or later. But what am I supposed to say?_

Eiji took a deep breath. He would just answer and see where the conversation takes him. Heart pounding painfully in his chest and his face feeling clammy, he flipped open his phone and pressed it to his ear.

"Moshi moshi." He was relieved that his voice didn't sound too frightened or nervous, or that it didn't sound at all choked up; the lump in his throat was unbearably tight.

_"Eiji."_

Eiji shut his eyes together and swallowed past the lump in his throat, trying his best to breathe evenly. "What do you want, Syuusuke?"

_"Eiji, please. I just want to talk. Just hear me out about this. Do you mind coming over?" _Eiji hesitated, his mind going wild.

_What should I do? What should I do? He's asking me to come to his house! What do I do!_

Slowly, Eiji opened his eyes and sighed. "What time?"

He could almost hear the relief in Fuji's voice as he swiftly replied,_ "Right now. While my family's not home. I want to talk to you in private."_

His insides clenching in panic, Eiji nodded. Then realizing that Fuji couldn't see him make the action, he said, "Okay. I'll be there."

_"Arigatou, Eiji. I'll see you then."_

And he hung up. His fingers numb, Eiji pressed the 'END' button on his phone and quickly went to his contacts list, selecting Oishi's. He chose 'Send message' and his fingers flew over the buttons, rapidly typing a message for Oishi.

_Change of plans. I'm coming back a little later than I said I would. Don't worry, Oishi! Just something I have to do first, 'kay? -Eiji _

With a slightly stunned feeling to him, he pressed 'send,' and shut the phone, twirling it around in his hand.

He could've slapped himself. There was nothing that he wanted to do less than talk with Fuji right now. He'd rather face his father than have to meet with Fuji. His mind was practically screaming at him to ignore the call, to refuse him, but he goes and accepts anyway! What was wrong with him?

Eiji stared at the phone. He knew why. Because there was still a part of him that longed to see that face again, to hear that beautiful voice in person. There was still a part of him that hoped fiercely that Fuji was genuinely sorry about what happened, that he still loved him.

There was still a part of Eiji that still loved Fuji.

* * *

_Well I never want to lose that view_

* * *

**Aww! Poor Eiji, all confused. Well, this concludes another chapter of Back to Love. Hopefully the next chapter comes quicker than this one. I'm going to and upload the chapters before their deadline. I already did with You're Not Strong and Abandoned and I was just lucky that I finished this one. Loads of hard work if you ask me...**

**So anyway, hope this chapter made up for the long wait, and I hope it's decent enough. Shows the worried side of Oishi in this and the joking side of Kenji. The next chapter will have the conversation between Eiji and Fuji, so watch out for that. Next update should be around the end of July or the beginning of August, whenever I have time to type this out. **

**Reviews make me happy. =D**


	6. Chapter 6

_So we'll crawl / Till we can walk again_

* * *

"Why did you ask me here, Fuji?"

They were in Fuji's bedroom, Eiji sitting on the bed and Fuji leaning on the opposite wall. Eiji felt on the verge of a panic attack. What was he thinking, agreeing to face Fuji after avoiding him for so long. His heart was racing inside his chest, thudding in his ears. Fuji said he wanted to talk to him, the reason being so painfully obvious Eiji swallowed as he thought of where the conversation would go.

Did he even want to know what Fuji's reasoning behind this was? Did he really want to sit there, listening to Fuji explain to him about not loving him as much as he hoped, so he sought comfort in Tezuka? Or that in reality, Fuji loved Tezuka all along and that dating Eiji was pitiful?

He closed his eyes and controlled the trembling in his hands he didn't realize was there until seconds before. _Relax. Just get through this and you can go back to Oishi's. Try to stay in composure, whether the news is good or not._

"I... I wanted to explain myself," Fuji started.

"Fuji, is there really anything to explain?" Eiji replied after Fuji went into silence for a moment. "... You love Tezuka. You slept with him. I found you. It's just that simple." Eiji nearly slapped himself at the small but noticable break in his voice at the end of the sentence.

Fuji winced. "I don't love Tezuka, Eiji," he said, stepping forward toward where Eiji was sitting on his bed. "Please listen to me."

Eiji sighed shakily and nodded. It was what he came here to do. He would listen to Fuji, but there was a good chance it wouldn't change anything. Eiji went silent as he waited for Fuji to continue.

_Both teenagers lay beside each other in bed, Eiji resting his head on top of Fuji's chest as the older boy stroked through the acrobat's red hair, his chest heaving slightly with the previous activities of earlier that night. A blanket covered their bare bodies, as did a fine layer of sweat. _

_What Fuji wanted to say next felt natural to him after such intimate contact with his lover. He loved Eiji, he really did. The redhead was something special to him, and everything that had happened adding up to this moment were things he would cherish forever, and it would only be the first phase of their relationship, with many more memories to come._

_He wanted to say he loved Eiji out loud. There could be nothing else that would make this moment more perfect than hearing Eiji say it back._

_"Eiji..."_

_Somehow the younger boy understood what he wanted to say. But what Eiji did next wasn't what Fuji was expecting. Eiji leaned up, pressing a short kiss to Fuji's lips, and quickly replacing them with a forefinger._

_"Shhh... not yet," Eiji whispered, something inexplicable clouding his eyes. "Please... we can't say that yet."_

_It left Fuji desperately confused. What did that mean? How could it not be time for them to express their love into words? How could it not be time for Fuji to say "I love you"?_

_But he heeded Eiji's request with a smile and a kiss to the redhead's lips. He spent the whole night before he fell asleep dwelling on this though._

_XXX_

_Three months had passed since that night. Eiji still hadn't allowed Fuji to say "I love you" and he wouldn't say it either. _

_An odd emptiness formed inside Fuji at this. Eiji didn't know, but it was really hurting Fuji that he wasn't able to talk to Eiji about this. And it left him desperately confused. How could going on hiatus from three simple words hurt him this much?_

_And it came to the day where the whole mess started._

_It was confusing, but Tezuka had called off tennis practice that day. No one really complained for this after the near brutal practice Tezuka had put them through the day before. Everyone had went their seperate ways. Echizen and Momo had been the first to leave on Momo's bike, with Kaidoh following them shortly and leaving at a jog to his house. Oishi and Kawamura left after helping a few first years put away the tennis equipment they had unnecessarily taken out. _

_Fuji had to attend photography club that day. He apologized to Eiji for not being able to walk him home and the acrobat meerly shook his head and smiled, stating not to worry about it, leaving Fuji with a discreet kiss behind the clubhouse._

_Photography club went by. Fuji stood outside the tennis courts, hands in his pockets. He didn't know what he was waiting for, or why. He just felt the need to be alone for some reason, to be isolated._

_But that need didn't last long._

_"Fuji?"_

_Fuji turned to see Tezuka in front of him, having just left the student council meeting today. Fuji quirked an eyebrow._

_"Ready to go?" Tezuka asked._

_... Of course. He'd almost forgotten. They had agreed that today they would get together to study for the semester finals coming up soon. That in mind, Fuji nodded and offered a close-grin smile. "Of course," he said._

_They walked toward Fuji's house. It was normal for them. Fuji would smile and talk while Tezuka listened and barely awknowledged the conversation._

_The only abnormal thing today that Fuji had failed to notice was the way Tezuka's hands clenched and his eyes were stubbornly averted from the short brunette's._

_XXX_

_It was when they were studying for the bio exam that it happened._

_It was a quiet evening. Fuji's parents and sister had gone to a dinner earlier in the evening and weren't planning on returning until later. Normally, studying was the only time Tezuka ever talked this much. But this time, Tezuka was silent. His hand continued twitching whenever he would reach for something near Fuji. Fuji thought nothing of it and simply shrugged it off. _

_"Fuji..."_

_Tezuka sounded different, off. Fuji tensed. He could sense something was about to happen; Tezuka was giving off enough powerful vibes to him to notice. Whether they were positive or negative Fuji didn't know._

_He looked up, and his eyes sprang open when he noticed how close Tezuka's face was to his own. _

_"Tezuka?"_

_"Fuji," Tezuka cut in nervously, biting on his lip. "... I love you."_

_Fuji stared. He was speechless. Looking back now, he should have moved away from Tezuka, he should have said that he was already taken, that he was Eiji's, that he was sorry._

_But Tezuka had said "I love you." Fuji had been waiting so long to hear those words from Eiji. At that moment, it didn't matter that it was Tezuka who said them. All thoughts cleared from Fuji's mind._

_He finally heard "I love you."_

_And he snapped._

_About half-hour later found Fuji staring up at the ceiling, completely naked with only the thin blanket of his bed covering him and Tezuka asleep next to him. What did he just do? What the _fuck _did he just do? He had just cheated on Eiji with Tezuka. _

Shit_._

_He had to leave. He had to wake Tezuka up, kick him out of need be. He needed to talk with Eiji about this whole thing right now. _

_And he would have done that if Eiji hadn't found him first. _

"Eiji, please try and understand me," Fuji requested desperately after telling his side of the story.

Eiji had been silent for the whole story. Had what Fuji said been true? He was really neglecting Fuji that much? It was hurting him that much? But of course. He never allowed the brunette to say anything of the sort to him. He should have known.

"I'm not trying to make excuses for myself, because what I did was inexcusable. But please, Eiji... You have no idea how much I wanted to hear those words. I needed to hear them. I never should have slept with Tezuka, but it just happened."

"Fuji-"

"I never should have done it-"

"_Fuji_." Eiji sighed shakily. "Please."

Fuji exhaled deeply through his nostrils, looking back up at Eiji. "Why wouldn't you let me say it, Eiji?"

"I... I don't know," Eiji confessed, shaking his head. "I don't know."

"Eiji, there has to be a reason," Fuji replied. "Do you not love me, or-"

"No, that's not it. That was never it," Eiji said immediately. "I just... _I don't know_."

Fuji paused, then he glanced down, nodding in defeat.

"No, no, Fuji please," Eiji spoke up, seeing Fuij's incomposure. "It's just.. I..." Here he sighed, placing a hand on his forehead and leaning on it, his elbow propped on his knee. "Saying those words... It's a really strong commitment... And..."

He only realized he was crying when Fuji's eyes widened and he came over to sit next to the redhead, carefully wiping the tears away from Eiji's cheeks with a gentle thumb. Eiji sniffed and leaned into the soft touch.

"... I don't think I'm ready for that."

Fuji stopped wiping away Eiji tears. He gaped at the boy next to him. "Eiji, are you saying-"

"I think... I think we should give each other space for a while." The tears continued to fall faster. "Just for a while, I... I need time to think. It's just too fresh. I need time to think this through. I'm a complete mess right now. My parents are upset with me and I'm staying with Oishi. I need to straighten everything else out."

The quiet stretched on. It seemed like a painful eternity passed when Fuji finally sighed. "Are you sure about this?"

"I hope so," Eiji whispered, ending on a sob.

Fuji, close to tears himself, pulled Eiji to him, resting their foreheads together and stroking Eiji's wet cheeks with his thumbs. He couldn't stop himself. He leaned in and kissed Eiji.

Eiji seemed to pause slightly before deciding everything was fine and kissed back, moving closer into the kiss. Their lips moved in sync together as Fuji wrapped an arm around Eiji's waist. Eiji truely was irresistable.

_How could I have hurt him that badly?_

* * *

_Then we'll run / Until we're strong enough to jump_


End file.
